Pick Your Battles. Finish Them or Leave Them.

You don’t always get along with people. Some relationships stay strictly professional, and that is fine. But it is a mistake to assume everyone can neatly compartmentalize emotions. In reality, disagreements spill over. They show up later as “soft skills” feedback. When that feedback comes from someone one level above, it can hurt. When it comes from a group at that level, it can stall or even break a career. We are human. Not every interaction stays clean and contained.

Over time, I learned to pause and assess before engaging deeply. What is the room like? Who is the audience? Is this worth fighting? If the answer is yes, then hesitation becomes the problem. Half measures do not work. I once got into a series of heated discussions with product and a senior IC. It kept going back and forth. Nothing was improving. When I stepped back and asked whether it was working, the answer was no. When I asked whether it was worth fighting, the answer was yes. That clarity changed everything. I went all in, drove the work end to end, and escalated until there was no easy way out. The issues were acknowledged, and the outcome moved forward.

In another situation, close to a launch, I faced a similar conflict with a product manager and a senior engineering manager. Again, I paused. Again, I asked the same questions. This time, the answer was different. It was not worth the fight. So I stepped away. I cut the losses, wished them well, and moved on. Not every battle needs to be won. Some just need to be avoided. Tenet #6 — Move Fast: The Door Swings Both Ways. Choose carefully. And once you choose, either commit fully or walk away cleanly.

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